From Gray to Blue
by Jeandrewitis
Summary: The look of hope in her eyes hurts, knowing that she so desperate wanted this. "Would you give me that, Andrew?" I close the distance between us and tell her softly, "Yes. It's time, Jeanine." I kiss her softly. It occurs to me that it feels so right.
1. Chapter 1

**From Gray to Blue**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own the Divergent trilogy.

 **Summary:** Beatrice decides to follow Caleb to Erudite. Old secrets are revealed and the two quickly realize that Erudite was never the enemy, but their old faction.

 **Chapter 1**

 ** _Beatrice's POV_**

"Caleb Prior." I look at my brother as I hear his name called. He looks dazed for a moment and then smiles at me before walking up to the bowls.

I see my father beaming with pride at Caleb as he picks up the knife. My mother looks sad almost. I frown at that. Why would she be sad?

I look back at Caleb. He seems to be hesitating. Why? He opens his eyes and reaches out his hand and lets his blood drop in a bowl.

"Erudite." Marcus announces, glaring at the back of my brother's head as he walks over to his new faction.

There were gasps from the normally reserved Abnegation. The Erudite just clapped and shot us prideful looks as they happily accepted Caleb. My father looks a mixture of furious, betrayed and fearful.

"Quiet, please." Marcus called out. Finally, everyone quieted down. "Beatrice Prior."

I sit rooted to my seat. What should I do? I don't belong in Abnegation, no matter what my test said. I can't stand the idea of being the quiet housewife. I don't want to be alone, but that would mean joining the enemy.

I decide to leave it up to fate as I swing my cut hand over a bowl with my eyes closed.

"Erudite." Marcus says, horrified.

My mind goes blank as I briefly look up at my parents. My mother seems understanding, but there's a blazing fury in my father's eyes and I can tell it's taking everything in him not to come up here and shake us and ask us why we chose Erudite.

I finally took a seat beside my brother.

"You chose Erudite." Caleb said in surprise. "I thought you'd choose Dauntless."

I shrug, not really knowing how to respond. I watch as the last of the initiates chooses and the Erudite walk out of a side exit. I start to turn for one last glance at our parents, but Caleb stops me.

"Don't, Beatrice." He murmurs. "It… it'll only make it harder."

I swallow and nod. I can see the tormented look in his eyes. Had I just missed it the night before, or did he hide it? I smile half-heartedly at him. "At least we have each other, right?"

"Of course." He nods. A true smile graces his lips. "We're going home, finally."

I stare at him. Was this really my brother, my perfect Abnegation brother? I shake my head as we see a group of cars.

"Four per car." Jeanine calls. "Erudite-born initiates may not ride with their parents or non-initiate family."

There were several mutters from the Erudite-born initiates. We get into a car with an Erudite-born and a Dauntless transfer.

"What's wrong?" My brother asks the Erudite-born girl. It's just now that I notice that she has tear-tracks down her face.

She looks at us with bloodshot eyes. "My brother transferred to Dauntless." She says.

"Oh." I say sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She waves off. "We… we always knew he didn't fit in here. Not that he wasn't smart, he just wasn't the type that enjoyed always having to read. It doesn't make the reality any easier, though. So… Abnegation, huh?"

Caleb looks away, ashamed. "Yes." He mutters.

Seeing his discomfort, she changes the subject. "I'm Cara."

"Fernando." The other boy says.

"I'm Caleb, and this is my sister, Beatrice." Caleb says.

"Just Tris, please." I say. I wanted a new start, with a new name.

"Twins?" Cara asks.

I shake my head. "Caleb's almost a year older than me. He was born the day after the choosing ceremony and I was born a week before the next one. I was a month premature."

"Ah." Cara nods. "That makes sense, I suppose."

"Too bad there's no Dauntless cake in Erudite." Fernando says. "We'll have to make something for your birthday tomorrow."

"Um, what?" Caleb asks in surprise.

"Abnegation don't have birthday parties, idiot." Cara says to Fernando.

His face turns red. "Oh. Why?"

"It's self-indulgent to celebrate yourself." Caleb says.

How did I never notice that it sounded more like he was quoting some textbook when he made such statements? "Technically, we aren't even supposed to know our birthdays." I add. "Our parents were a little less traditional."

"It's very unusual for two siblings to transfer, much less to the same faction." Cara says. "Was one of your parents Erudite-born?"

-0-0-0-0-

After the tour of the compound, Caleb and I decided to go to the library.

"I wonder if they have any good books on Psychology." Caleb said to me.

I look at him in surprise. "I'm sure they do. It is Erudite after all."

"What about you, Beatrice? What do you plan to major in?" He looked over at me.

"Uh…" I frown. I hadn't actually given it any thought. We hadn't been allowed to read in Abnegation except for school. "I don't really know. I guess maybe Mathematics. I was always pretty good at it."

Caleb smiled. "Yes, you would probably enjoy that. It would be a hard subject to learn in such a short period of time, though."

"What's life without a good challenge?" I joke. I pick through some of the Math books. Caleb and I had both taken through Calculus III in upper school. I found a book called 'Intro to Analytic Number Theory'. "This looks promising. So do you know what project you're doing?"

"I've had that planned out for years. I have everything planned from the outline to the title. The Psychology of Transferring: How to Tell if Your Child Will Transfer."

I laugh. "Seems appropriate, coming from the secret Erudite in Abnegation."

He sticks his tongue out at me childishly. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." He laughs. "Although there is one minor issue. I was going to interview at least one person from each transfer type, but I have no idea where I'll find an Erudite-born Abnegation."

I raise an eyebrow. "How are you going to find any of the transfer to Abnegation types? I doubt we'd be welcome there anymore."

"I actually already did 16 of the 20 since I didn't have easy access to Erudite without raising suspicion. All that left are Candor-born Erudite, Dauntless-born Erudite, Amity-born Erudite and Erudite-born Abnegation. Three of which I know who to interview."

I'm about to speak when a shadow envelops our table. I turn to see who it is and my jaw drops when I see none other than…

-0-0-0-0-

Ooh, cliffhanger. Tune in for more. The drama's about to start. Who do you think it is? Review with your guesses and thoughts on the chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy

A/N: Sorry it's been so long. We've had work done on our house and they had to temporarily disconnect the Internet.

-0-0-0-0-

My mother smiled at us.

"Mom?" I stare at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I owe you and your father and Jeanine an explanation." She says softly, looking away. "Come, we're meeting in Jeanine's office."

-0-0-0-0-

Jeanine leaned forward in her chair. "You called this meeting, Mrs. Prior. You claimed to have information we needed. Please explain."

My mother takes a deep breath. "I'm not Caleb and Beatrice's mother."

I freeze. What?

"Nat, what are you talking about? I watched you give birth to them."

"Tell me, Andrew, what do you remember of your childhood?" My 'mother' asks.

His eyebrows furrow. "I was raised in a humble Abnegation family, I received an Erudite test result but chose to stay in Abnegation anyway."

"I'll just get to the point, your memories are false. They were planted after the Abnegation used the memory serum on you. You as well, Ms. Matthews."

She hissed at that. "What's the truth then?"

"You were married and had Caleb and Beatrice together before the choosing ceremony. Soon thereafter, the Abnegation discovered that Beatrice was Divergent. So for her protection, they took them and wiped your memories."

"Why are you telling us this now, Natalie?" My father stood, furious. "Now that it's too late for my family to be together. Did I even love you? Did I even ever hate Erudite?"

She shakes her head. "No. We were friends. You didn't agree with all of their ideas, but you didn't hate them, and... I need your protection, Jeanine. With them having chosen Erudite, the Abnegation believe me to be a faction traitor."

She growls. "How dare you?! You come here and tell me you took my husband and babies from me and you expect me to protect you?! I hope you go to hell."

My eyes flicker between them. I don't like what she did, but I don't want her dead, either. I take a deep breath. "Mom." I mutter to Jeanine, knowing it will catch her interest.

Her eyes turn to me and I see something in them. "You... you called me Mom."

"Please... I don't want her dead. Please take her under protection?"

I see the fight in her eyes. "Fine, but you'll be standing trial here for kidnapping. The court will decide your fate."

"Thank you." Natalie says softly as the guards take her away to be held until the trial.

"Andrew..." Jeanine turns to him. "You should stay here. I fear the Abnegation may believe you to be a traitor, too."

He nods sharply, then turns to Caleb and I. "I just want you both to know, no matter what else happens, you are my children and I will always love you. Caleb, I did you a great injustice that day, and I'm sorry. You are my children no matter what faction you are."

"Now," Jeanine turns to us, "some ground rules. Unfortunately, I can't change factional law. You can't interact with Andrew or I until after initiation on a personal level. I'm sure as faction leader we will still interact, but nothing more than that."

I look down. "And M... Na... Natalie?"

Jeanine sighs. "That's rather tiptoeing the line. It's inadvisable, but I can't stop you should you choose to visit her."

-0-0-0-0-

Caleb and I go to supper after the meeting.

"So, you're the Abnegation-born transfers. I'm Victoria and this is my twin brother, Vincent." A girl says beside us.

"I'm Beatrice." I say softly. "But just call me Tris."

Caleb looks at me in surprise for a moment then says, "Caleb. And we're Erudite-born, actually. It's… complicated."

"Well, it doesn't matter to us." Victoria says. "You chose this faction and that's what matters."

"Aren't you Andrew Prior's children?" Vincent asks and we nod. "We all know about or remember when he abruptly left Erudite after his and Jeanine's children were killed. He never spoke a good word of this faction since."

"The Abnegation wiped his memory." Caleb said. "Jeanine's, too. They stole us from them and reset their memories to show that father was Abnegation-born and loved our so called mother."

"That's horrible." An Erudite born girl says. "I'm Cara. I've grown up on the stories of the Prior family. How Andrew Prior left and never looked back, completely refuting all connection to Erudite. I guess we know what happened now."

"What's so important about our family?" I ask.

"The Prior's are the oldest pure Erudite family. Until your father, there had never been a single transfer. Your ancestor, Edith Prior, was the founder of the city and she was Erudite from the time she came until the day she died." Victoria says.

I'm about to respond when everyone stops talking and looks up at the balcony.

"Hello, initiates. Welcome to the Erudite faction. My name is Jeanine Matthews and I am the leader here. This year initiation will be run a little differently due to the fact that my children are both Erudite initiates. Harrison Wilkes will be taking over all my initiate duties for fairness purposes."

Everyone grumbled at that.

"On another note, I've decided to absolve Ms. Natalie Wright of the charge of kidnapping. She will be taking refuge here and you are all to treat her as you would an Erudite member. Thank you."

As she turned to leave, she sends me a pointed, sorrowful look. I frown as she walks off. What was her motive? Was she genuinely trying to gain mine and Caleb's trust or did she have another motive?

Victoria nudges my shoulder. "Stop looking at her like that."

I turn to her in surprise. "Like what?"

"Like she's trying to fool you." Victoria says. "Believe me, Jeanine Matthews is nothing if not logical. What would she gain by fooling you if she truly didn't care about you?"

I bite my lip. She did have a point, but I still wasn't ready to believe that she had pure intentions.

"She's not as bad as the Abnegation say, Beatrice." Caleb tells me. "She's human, just like anyone else and makes mistakes, but deep down she's a deeply feeling, caring person. She only wants what's best for Erudite and perhaps now, us."

"She's killed innocent people, Caleb." I hiss. "People like me. Divergents."

"And yet she knows what you are and has made no move to hurt you in any way. Caleb points out quietly. "She's afraid of what they could do to the system if they chose to act on their own."

"Oh, no!" I put my head in my hands. Amidst everything else, my mother's... Natalie's, I remind myself... comment about my divergence had slipped past me. "She knows. She knows everything."

"If it had been my intention to kill you, Beatrice," I hear Jeanine's voice behind me, "you would already be dead."

A hiss escapes my lips as I turn to her. "If you ever want me to consider thinking of you as my... as my mother, you will stop killing them and harassing the Abnegation. Otherwise, you might as well just kill me, because I will never love a murderer."

Her lips purse. "Is that what you want, Beatrice?" She asks softly.

I stare into her eyes, and I can see that though she wants everything else to be the same, she cares more about what I feel and I almost give in... almost. "Yes." I say firmly.

"Then it shall be done." She says firmly before walking away. "Oh, and for the record, I've never killed anyone myself nor had anyone killed that hadn't done something to be branded a traitor. And being Divergent doesn't automatically constitute being a traitor


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

A/N: Thank you so much to my loyal reviewers. I promise I will finish this story. By the way, if there's ever anything you don't like in this story, just tell and I'll change it. I don't want to lose you guys over a bad bit of story. I already wrote the epilogue and the chapter where things start to change so I know where this story's going. If anyone would like to know, I'm open to sharing through PM.

-0-0-0-0-

Natalie's POV

I hear a knock at my door. "Come in."

The door opened to reveal a somewhat disheveled looking Jeanine Matthews. I stare at her in surprise. "Jeanine?" I ask hesitantly. I still don't trust her, but she looks almost devastated. "Did something happen?" I wave her toward a seat.

She shakes her head. "Beatrice... she... I don't think I'll ever be able to gain her trust and love. The harder I try to gain it, the more she resists."

My lips quirk a bit at that. "Yes, that does sound like Beatrice. Am I to assume you came to me for help with that?"

"Please." She stares up at me pleadingly with bloodshot grey eyes. "I don't... I don't know what to do. I've tried everything I can think of."

I sigh. "Well, you won't like this but... you're probably trying too hard. Beatrice doesn't trust easily and she most likely thinks you're trying to manipulate her. Just... back off a bit and let her decide for herself."

"But... but then I can't control...!" She cuts herself off.

"And I think we've found the root of the problem." I say. "You can't force someone to love you, Jeanine. You're right, Beatrice may very well still decide she wants no more relationship with you than is strictly necessary. But it's the only chance you have."

She lets out a strangled cry. "I want my babies back. I want my family back. My family's split right down the middle. And there's nothing I can do about it. Everything's in Beatrice and Andrew's hands."

I sigh. For the first time a feel a touch of pity for her. "It's the worst torture, waiting when there's absolutely nothing you can do to change the outcome." She conceded. "But take comfort in the fact that you at least have Caleb."

She looks away. "On some level, but ours has been a strictly professional relationship. He came to me out of desperation to find some way to still be himself without losing Andrew."

"What do you think mothers do Jeanine?" I ask her gently. "We protect our babies, no matter who or what from. We comfort them when they feel lost or alone. In the ways that truly matter to a child, you were there for him."

She laughs sharply. "I always thought it was a load of nonsense, that whole maternal instinct thing. I guess not."

"Many things are a bunch of nonsense." I say. "But that isn't one of them. You may not have known what you were feeling, but when your son reached out to you, you helped him."

"And Beatrice?" She bites her lip.

I sigh. "Beatrice is and was always a stubborn child. She never wanted help or pity or anything else. Let her come to you."

-0-0-0-0-

Beatrice's POV

Yesterday marked the end of stage 1, our IQ results, and they were supposed to be posted soon. Tomorrow we'd be starting our classes.

I stood beside Caleb as we and all the other initiates waited anxiously for the results to be posted on the board. "I'm scared, Caleb." I tell him.

"We all are, Tris." He smiles softly at me. "But the results are already determined. Worrying about it won't do any good."

I scowl at him. "Are you always this overly logical?"

"I'm an Erudite, Tris." He raises an eyebrow at me. "Stop thinking of me as an Abnegation because I'm not. I never was, no matter how convincing my act was."

I'm about to respond when Jeanine appears at the balcony. "Good morning, initiates. Today, your IQ results are in. I'm pleased to announce that all of you have passed stage 1. Should you pass initiation, your IQ will determine what job opportunities you will have. So without further ado, here are the results."

As soon as she pressed the button, the board lit up. I gasp when I see that Caleb and are tied for first with IQs of 200.

I hug Caleb in relief as I laugh off some of the nervous energy. "I guess we made it."

"We did." He laughs in agreement.

Our friends had pretty high IQs, too. We could all relax, for now.

-0-0-0-0-

After the ceremony, I'm approached by a man about father's age. "Hello, can I help you?" I ask him politely.

He smiles softly at me. "I guess it makes sense that you don't know me. I was once friends with your parents and Jeanine wanted me to make sure that you were happy."

"You knew them? Before... before everything happened?" I ask excitedly.

He chuckles. "Why yes. We were inseparable as children, me, Andrew and Jeanine. I'm Harrison, by the way. Harrison Wilkes. I'll be your history teacher starting tomorrow.

"When did things change?" I question.

"Hm..." He looks thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think it was something that happened all at once. Andrew became more and more disillusioned with our faction after you and your brother were supposedly killed."

"When did they wipe his memory?"

"I can only assume that it was at or just before the choosing ceremony." Harrison shrugs. "I spoke to Andrew right before we left for the hub and he told me he intended to stay in Erudite for Jeanine."

My eyebrows furrow. "The knife. They must have laced his knife with the memory serum."

"It's certainly possible." Harrison says. "And it seems to make the most sense."

"And Jeanine? When did she become so..." I'm not sure what to call it.

"Jeanine wasn't the first Erudite leader to hunt the divergent. She worked under the former leader, Norton, as a teenager. Believe me when I say that she was by far the lesser of the two evils. At least she actually cares about the people in Erudite."

"I don't even want to imagine what Norton was like then." I say, horrified.

"That's another thing that probably made Andrew hate us for so long. You see... Norton was his father. His mother died giving birth to him and Norton tried to raise him to believe as he did." Harrison adds.

I shudder at the thought. That would make anyone hate their faction. I can't help but wonder how he's half the father he is without any decent parental figures. "I'm starting to feel really bad for Father."

Harrison nods sharply. "And that, Tris, is why your parents are how they are."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

Warning: Mentions of child abuse in this chapter, but nothing graphic.

A/N: Four finally arrives on scene. Jeanine's backstory, made up by me, not canon, is explored in this chapter as was requested. Jeandrew starts next chapter, but much like the other relationships in this story, it won't be immediate. And to flashgordan, yes, Cara and Caleb will end up together. I love that couple, too. On another note, I will be posting chapters about once a week if I have the muse and circumstances permit it.

-0-0-0-0-

The next morning our classes started right after breakfast. Something I wasn't the least bit pleased about.

"Come on, Tris. We're going to be late for class!" Caleb calls from the doorway.

"Go away." I mutter moodily at him.

He rolls his eyes. "Tris, you know the rules. You'll be factionless if you skip classes."

"Fine. Go away so I can get dressed." I grab a light blue dress from the closet and a pair of navy blue flats.

I barely make it to the classroom in time. Harrison looks at me appraisingly. "Cutting it rather close, are we? Take a seat. Yours is next to your brother's."

I nod and sit down.

-0-0-0-0-

"Ms. Prior, stay after." Harrison calls as we all start to leave.

I turn back and wait until everyone's gone.

"Tris, you really shouldn't cut it so close to being late. I don't think Jeanine would kick you out, but I wouldn't risk it if I were you." He scolds.

I bite my lip. "You know, it occurred to me last night that you told me a lot about my father, but you didn't say much about Jeanine's childhood."

He sighs. "It isn't pleasant, Tris."

I frown. "I want to know. How can I judge her properly if I don't know why she is who she is?"

He frowns at me. "Her father was a very abusive man. Both physically and emotionally. Her mother abandoned her and this faction shortly after she gave birth along with her sister when she was 3. We all suspected the abuse might have played a part in her leaving."

I gasp as I think of the rumors she had started about Marcus Eaton. Had she been using her own past as she wrote them?

"Your father and I, we used to try to protect her, but we were only children ourselves. She grew cold to the world and had no faith left in humanity. Your father was the only one in the end who could keep her grounded."

"Why did no one arrest her father?" I ask in horror.

"Because no one believed her. He was a very influential man. He was Norton's right hand man before his death when Jeanine took his position." He looks at the clock. "You'd better go or you'll be late to your next class."

-0-0-0-0-

"I'm Four. I'll be your instructor in Math." Our teacher says.

"Four like the number?" A little smart mouth Candor-born asks.

"Exactly like the number." Four nods.

"What happened, one through three were taken?" The same girl asks.

Four scowls. "The reason for my name is none of your concern. Now..."

I watch him throughout the class. He occasionally scowls at me for no reason. After class I approach him. "What's your problem with me?" I hiss. "Did I do something?"

He turns to me with a stony expression. "Not you per say. Your mother is the reason my mentor is dead, and that Candor girl brought those memories back."

I gasp. "I um... I'm sorry. Was he...?"

"Divergent?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "Yes, he was. I'm surprised she hasn't killed you yet."

I bite my lip. "Yeah. I'm kind of surprised myself. But I... I think she's really trying to change. But I don't know if I can ever forgive her for everything she's done."

"If she's truly sorry," Four looks at me seriously, "then you should accept her apology. Take it from me. My father beat me horribly and my mother abandoned me but if either of them gave me a sincere apology, I would take it because parents are supposed to be our comfort and love and everything we need."

"You think I should just accept her as my mother?" I ask, a bit shocked.

"Look, I'm no fan of hers." Four sighs. "But you should separate what she's done to others from what she's done to you. Has she ever hurt you, personally? Or your brother or father?"

"No." I say hesitantly.

"Then isn't that what truly matters?" He asks. "Not to mention, as you pointed out, that she's changing for you."

I scoff. "And my brother and father."

"Give her some credit." Four rolls his eyes. "She knows that Caleb already sees her as a mother and she also knows that no matter what she does, there's a very good chance that Andrew won't forgive her fully. You're the question mark."

"Lovely." I say sarcastically. "So I'm basically an experiment to her."

His frown deepens. "I wouldn't say that. That's how Erudite think. The more unpredictable, the more fascinating and frustrating. Talk to her."

-0-0-0-0-

"Come in." Jeanine's voice calls through the door.

As I open the door, I look around. Her apartment is rather elegant. Inside is a large, open room with a whole wall being glass looking out on millennium park. There are two large chairs and several filled bookcases lining the other walls.

"Beatrice?" She startles me out of my awe. "What are you doing here? If someone sees you..."

"Then make sure they don't see me." I walk inside when she steps back to let me in.

"Is something wrong?" She asks, closing the door behind me.

"I've come to a... well, I guess partial decision. For now." I eye her hesitantly. I see a flash of hope cross her face before she masks it.

"Oh?"

"I've decided to give you a clean slate. Let bygones be bygones." I bite my lip, before I smile slightly at the joy in her eyes. "Don't get too excited. You still have to earn my trust and respect... and maybe someday love." I add quietly.

"I don't care." She laughs and grabs me into a bear hug.

I try to hug her back. "Can't... breathe." I try to say.

"Oh, sorry." She loosens her grip a little. "I promise to be the best mother I can."

I look away. "I want to believe you. I really do. But I can't, not yet."

"All in good time." She chuckles. "All in good time."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

A/N: I had to repost this chapter due to a discrepancy. Due to popular demand for Jeandrew, I've decided to speed things up despite saying it'd be a slow progression. I supposed a week or so is long enough for it to not be completely impossible that Andrew might have started to soften to the Erudite and Jeanine.

-0-0-0-0-

Jeanine's POV

I watch the serene scene as my son and an erudite-born initiate named Cara tentatively flirt. I smile, I've known Cara since she was a few weeks old. She would be good for my son.

If he could ever figure out how to flirt with a girl, anyway. I nearly laugh at the subtle Abnegation flirting. Poor Cara would never notice it.

"She seems decent for him." I turn to see Andrew behind me staring at Caleb and Cara.

"The poor girl will never pick up on his subtle Abnegation flirting, though." I chuckle. "Her name's Cara. She's an Erudite-born initiate."

Andrew's face scrunches in distaste at that. "Of course she is." He mutters.

"Andrew..." I sigh.

"I know, I know. I have to get over my distaste for Erudite. Nat's only reminded me a dozen times." He says in annoyance. "I heard you and Tris talked yesterday."

"We did." I say in agreement. "I think if she truly meant what she said about a fresh start, I might be able to have a relationship with her. My question now is, what about you? Are you willing to give this family a second chance?"

"I love my children." He says indignantly. "But you... whether or not what caused my initial dislike of you is true, you've done more than enough damage since then to warrant it."

"And I wish I could take it back." I feel tears in my eyes. "But I can't. I can only apologize to those I've hurt and move forward. What more do you want, Andrew? I'm only human. You've made mistakes, too."

"I've made mistakes, yes. But I learned from them. And I've only ever made one costly mistake and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it to my son." He looks back over at Caleb. "He truly belongs here, doesn't he?"

"What'd you say to him, anyway, Andrew?" I turn to him. "He was so distraught when he came here. He could barely breathe he was crying so hard. We had to put him on an oxygen tube until he calmed down so that he would get enough oxygen."

Andrew looks at his feet in shame. "I told him I'd never forgive him if he ever acted like an Erudite again."

"Andrew!" I yell. "How could you?! No wonder he was so distraught!"

He looks like a kicked puppy. "There's no need to remind me."

I feel my heart soften and I touch his shoulder gently. I'm surprised when he doesn't pull away. "Why don't we both just let go of the past?"

"Because Caleb and Tris will never let us." He looks so broken. "You're right, I've done just as much damage if not more to my relationship with Caleb as you have with Tris."

"We don't have to be alone." I say, my brows furrowed. "I love you, Andrew. I never said anything because I believed you were married to Natalie, but I've always loved you. Your stubbornness is the only thing keeping us apart."

He chuckles. "Yeah, the famous Prior stubbornness. Tris and Caleb got it honestly. Though Caleb takes after you more. At least in personality. I'm not ready to say that I love you, yet, but we can at least stay together, I suppose. We are married after all."

I smile. "I would like that very much."

-0-0-0-0-

Caleb's POV

As I'm leaving the gardens, I notice my father and Jeanine on the balcony. I'd tried to ignore their somewhat loud argument. Though I'm sure Cara heard it just as well as I did.

They seemed absorbed in their own world now, though, and I smile as I see my father kiss her gently on the forehead. Perhaps all hope wasn't lost for our family.

"They're so cute together." I hear Cara's voice behind me.

I blush. "It'll be nice to not have this rift in our family." I tell her softly.

She snickers. "Jeanine is right, you're a terrible flirt."

My face turns red. "Uh..."

"Silly boy." She laughs and kisses me. "You don't think the feeling's mutual? It is."

I'm sure a look like a tomato after the kiss is over.

-0-0-0-0-

Andrew's POV

I look around Jeanine's apartment after she starts to make lunch. The number of books was rather... excessive, but otherwise it was a comfortable, homey apartment.

I notice a hallway off to the side. I find a master bedroom with an en-suite, another bathroom and two doors that were shut at the end.

Intrigued, I open the on the left. Inside was a baby blue bedroom with a crib, a rocking chair, a changing table and a closet.

A quick look at the clothes and I come to the heart-wrenching conclusion that this had once been Caleb's room.

I look and see that the crib's sheets were still unmade, as if it had only been hours ago that Caleb slept in it, not the 16 years it had been in reality. On the sheets was a note.

My son,

I hope that you and your sister are happy in whatever world is after this one. I wish I could have saved you. I wish I could hold you both one last time and tell you how much I miss you, but I can't. I will always love you, little one.

With all my love,

Mommy

Something in my heart broke at the note. With a glance into Tris' room, I see a similar note folded on her crib. I grab it, and return to Caleb's room to grab his note, careful not to wrinkle them, before I head back to the kitchen.

"Lunch is almost ready." She calls over her shoulder. "I wasn't sure what you like now, but I remember you used to love pot roast."

My mouth waters at the idea. I couldn't remember ever eating it, but it always smelled delicious on the rare occasions Nat made some for the factionless.

After she sat down, she started talking. "We've found a way to undo the damage done by the memory serum." Her eyes sparkle with excitement.

My eyes widen. "I'd be able to remember?"

She nods and smiles. "And you'd know what memories were planted. And which were changed. Am I to take it you're willing to try it?"

"Yes." I tell her. "Especially now." I place the letters on the table.

Her eyes widen. "My letters. I almost forgot about those with everything that's happened."

"You love them." I say in awe. "I had doubts before, whether you were trying to use them but... no one who didn't care would write a letter to someone they truly believed they would never see again. To someone who they believed would never read it."

Her eyes narrow. "They're my children, Andrew. How could you even think I don't love them? After I protected Caleb all these years? With how hard I'm trying to regain... well, I guess I should say gain... Tris' trust? Is that why you've been so hesitant to trust me?"

I shrug. "For what it's worth, the Abnegation had a very good reason to take Tris from you. I had to know that you weren't trying to lead her into a trap."P

Her face darkens as she growls, "I would never do anything like that to her. Do you think it was my wish to release Natalie? No. I did it because even though I don't like the idea of Tris thinking of her as her mother, it would hurt Tris to take away the only mother she's known."

I shake my head, not quite sure how to respond to that. "Can we just have a fresh start? You claim to have wanted it. I'm ready to try, knowing that my... our... children are safe."

The look of hope in her eyes hurts, knowing that she so desperate wanted this. "Would you give me that, Andrew?"

I close the distance between us and tell her softly, "Yes. It's time, Jeanine." I kiss her softly. It occurs to me that it feels so right.

Too soon, it ends. Jeanine smiles at me. "We should get remarried."

I look at her in confusion. "We aren't still?"

"No." She sighs against my chest. "The marriage was dissolved automatically when you changed factions."

"Right." I say in embarrassment. "Then I will ask you this once. Will you marry me, Jeanine Matthews?"

She laughs. "Yes, Andrew."

I pull her close and she relaxes against me. Soon after, I hear her chuckle. "What is it?"

"I was just thinking about how Tris will take this. Tomorrow's visiting day. Should we tell her and Caleb then?" She looks up at me.

"That's probably wise." I run my fingers through her soft hair. "Tris gets really angry when she finds out information has been withheld from her."

She grins. "Maybe she has more Erudite in her than she knows, then."

"Mm." I grin back at her. "That's true. Why doesn't that bother me as much as it should?"

"Because you're starting to realize that being Erudite isn't necessarily bad."

-0-0-0-0-

Alright, there's the start of Jeandrew. What do you think? Too soon? To sappy? Just right? Please tell me in your comments. :)

Next chapter is visiting day. How do you think Tris and Caleb (but especially Tris) should take the news of their parents' engagement?

Also, in case any of you are wondering, Natalie will find her perfect someone, soon, too. Any guesses?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

 **Important A/N: I have been unable to read quite a few of the reviews. For whatever reason, they haven't shown up on the review page. Please PM any future reviews until further notice or email them to math _ girl314 yahoo . com (without the spaces.) Thanks!**

-0-0-0-0-

Tris' POV

When I wake up, I realize what day it is. Visiting day. I groan at the thought. Most transfers had to worry about their parents not showing up, but I had the opposite problem.

I wasn't sure I was ready for a day of what it would have been like during my childhood had we not been taken away.

"Come on, Tris!" I hear Caleb's excited voice through the door of my apartment. "It's visiting day. Did you forget?"

"No." I grouch at him. "I wish I could."

"Aw, come on, Tris. You and Mom are starting to get along. It's not that bad."

"Easy for you to say." I snap. "You always got along with her." I grab my clothes. "I'll be out in a few minutes."

-0-0-0-0-

When we get to the main room of the library where visiting day was being held, Caleb and I looked around for our parents. I finally spot them up on the balcony, seemingly searching for us.

I grab Caleb's attention and we go up to the balcony.

"Hi." Caleb says guardedly.

They turn around and Jeanine's eyes instantly find mine. "Tris." She grins softly at me.

I try to smile back at her, but I know it's only half-hearted. My eyes narrow when I notice how my father has his arm wrapped around her. "Are you..."

Jeanine looks down at where I'm looking and then smiles. "We're back together if that's what you're asking."

I scowl at my father.

"Tris you are welcome to have your own opinion of your mother." My father pulls her a little closer. "But I for one agree with her. This family has been apart for far too long. We need to just look ahead to the future."

"I'm trying, but I would think you of all people would understand." I tell him.

"I do, Tris. Everyone makes mistakes, though. What matters is that we learn from them and apologize. How can we expect forgiveness if we don't give it?"

I bite my lip at that. He has a point, although I'm not about to admit it.

"We should take this conversation to our apartment." Jeanine says resolutely.

-0-0-0-0-

After a very awkward lunch where Father told us that he and Jeanine were engaged, I decided to take a closer look around the apartment.

At the end of a hallway, I found a pair of doors. I opened one of them to find what appeared to be a baby's room.

With a pang, I realize that this had once been my room, if the pink accents were any hint. I run my fingers over the still unmade bed. It was as if it had just been slept in.

Sentimentality? I find it hard to believe that Jeanine could have ever been the sentimental type.

"It was all I had left of you and your brother."

I turn to see Jeanine in the doorway. I frown.

"When I thought... you were... were..." She sighs. "I would often come in here and I could pretend that you were in the apartment playing. Perhaps why I hated you so much as a child is because you looked like you could be my daughter, but weren't. Or at least I believed so."

My frown deepens. "Surely Caleb looks similar to how he did as a baby?"

She shrugs. "I didn't really like him either early on. Until he came to me... me... the very person he'd been taught to hate... for help. Something about that made it very difficult to dislike him."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask.

"I feel as if you don't know me, or my reasoning." She looks up at me. "And you deserve to know who I am and what motivates me before you make any decisions. I'm sure there will be things you don't like, but know this. I may only have had you for a week before you were taken, but I loved you from the moment I knew you existed."

I felt it was only fair to share my own concerns. "I want you to care about me as a person, Jeanine. Not as a trophy. Not as some difficult accomplishment. But as your... daughter." The last word feels strange.

She looks hurt. "Is that what you think? That I only care because you aren't changing your mind instantly? I may have become cold and bitter over the years, but there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't miss my husband and children. If only I'd known..."

"What would you have done, hm?" I ask. "If you had known Caleb and I were alive what could you truly have done?"

Something flashed in her eyes. "Whatever it took to get my children back. I had already planned to attack Abnegation for stealing my husband and killing my children. Until I found out the truth. Until you asked me to leave them alone."

My jaw drops. "Father would have been there, too. And innocent children. You would have seen them killed?"

"An eye for an eye." She sneers at the thought. "They killed my babies, why shouldn't I kill theirs? And I wrote the program with specific orders to capture, not kill, Andrew."

"That's just wrong!" I yell at her indignantly. "Killing innocent children... How could you even consider that, knowing what you claim to have went through? And I can't imagine all of the Abnegation were guilty."

She looks away. "Yeah." She says softly. "But it took seeing you again, knowing who you were, to realize that. I could have killed my own daughter..."

For the first time, I see tears in her eyes. "I never intended to stay in Abnegation. Look, you're right, I don't like it, but I'm glad that you've shared your secrets. If you want me to love you, you need to let go so you can be happy."

She looks guilty. "That's not... entirely true." She sighs. "There's one more secret. One that no one... not even your father... knows."

I raise an eyebrow at that. "Oh?"

"Did you know..." She looks at me, "that there are only two ways for a child to be divergent? Either your parents had different aptitudes from each other... or one or both parents are divergent themselves."

My mind races. There was no way Jeanine didn't have an aptitude for Erudite, she was too smart. But my father himself admitted to an Erudite test result... 'Not even your father knows...' She had said. "No..."

"Yes, Tris." She looks tired. "I'm divergent."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

A/N: Reviews are back online, thank you for your patience. Sorry, this chapter was particularly difficult to write. I'm still not completely content with how it turned out, but I didn't want to make you wait any longer.

-0-0-0-0-

"Yes, Tris." She looks tired. "I'm divergent."

What? "What? No, that's not... I mean... Why would you...?"

"Because I hate it." She growls. "I hate what I was born as. My mother was born beyond the fence, where it's normal to be divergent. You want to know how most of the divergent have been killed? It's because I've spent my life trying to create a serum that will make me normal."

I feel the bile in my throat. I'm angry, but there's a small, strange part of me that feels overjoyed that she trusts me enough to tell me what I'm sure is her darkest secret in her mind.

"Please... Say something." She looks at me, terrified.

I finally find my voice. "Dad deserves to know before he... marries you." The idea is still foreign to me.

A strangled sound comes from her mouth. "I can't. He'd never understand..."

"Jeanine." My father's voice comes from the doorway. He walks over to her.

"How long have you been listening?" She asks, terrified.

"Long enough to hear your secret." He hugs her. "My poor, poor Jeanine. Did you really think I wouldn't love you anymore for being Divergent?"

She sighs and rests her head against his chest. "I wouldn't blame you. It's... it's disgusting. It makes me feel so dirty in my own skin."

"Oh, Jeanine..." He sighs, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "It's not disgusting. It's just a part of you. It's no different than any other inherited personality trait. It's part of what makes you who you are and I wouldn't have you any other way."

"I've gotten people like me killed. I might have killed our daughter had she chosen differently."

He snorts in amusement. "No you wouldn't have. I must wonder, though, if we're both Divergent how Caleb managed to escape our fates."

"I didn't." Caleb stood in the doorway, suddenly finding the floor very interesting. "I mean, I managed to fool the aptitude test, but my instincts are for Abnegation and Erudite both. Though my Erudite aptitude is far stronger."

My head's spinning at all the revelations of the day. "I'm going to guess that you're Abnegation and Erudite." I say to my father who nods. "And you're... What? Erudite and Dauntless, maybe?"

Jeanine shrugs. "I actually have an aptitude for all factions since my family never 'tainted', as they called beyond our city, our bloodline with a certain aptitude before my father. But yes, my strongest aptitudes are for Erudite and Dauntless."

I groan. "This is so screwed up, you know that?"

She snorts. "Believe me, I am well aware of that fact. All I ever wanted was a small, happy family. Andrew and I, and any children we would have had. But the chance for that is long gone and we have to make do with what we have."

-0-0-0-0-

After our little 'family confessions', we all decided to just let that go for the time being and relax.

"I want you to keep these." Jeanine handed Caleb and I two small packages. "Inside are what I call memory tabs. I don't know if the Abnegation messed with your memories, Caleb, and you were so young Tris, but I hope this will help."

I frown. "How do they work?"

She shrugs. "They stimulate your existing memories. Your brain automatically knows what you are searching for. Place the tabs, one on each temple. Everything else will come on it's own."

"What makes you think it will work if I was only a week old?" I ask picking one up, eyeing it skeptically.

"It's very possible that it won't, but this is your best chance at remembering the short time between the time you were born and when this family was ripped apart."

I put them on. A few seconds later in front of me I see a nurse.

-0-

"You have a daughter, Mrs. Prior." Suddenly I'm placed in someone's arms. I look to see Jeanine smiling tiredly as she counted my fingers and toes. My father stood beside her beaming.

I quickly become aware of the fact I have no control over my body.

"She's so perfect." Jeanine smiles, holding me closer.

"She looks like you." Father leans closer and wraps his arm around her shoulder.

Jeanine laughs. "She has a lot of you in her, too, though. I can already tell she's going to have your stubbornness."

Oh how right she was about that.

"Hm, let's hope not." My father kisses her lovingly, but briefly. "I love you, Jeanine. I love our little family."

"I love you, too." Jeanine smiles.

Dad smiles before hugging her. "I'm going to go find Aiden. He'll want to meet his sister."

Jeanine waits until he's out of the room. "Hi, Annie. I'm your mommy. Daddy and I love you so much."

My baby hand reaches out to grab her hand.

She gasps as my tiny hand wraps around her finger. I let out a little giggle. She laughs, too. "You're going to be a mommy's girl, aren't you?" She pressed kisses on my forehead.

"Momma!" Caleb calls.

Jeanine turns and gestures for him to come over. "Aiden, meet your baby sister, Annie."

"Hi." Caleb smiled a nearly toothless grin at me. He tried to pick me up but failed.

"No, Aiden." Jeanine tells him softly. "She's tiny, so she's easily hurt. You don't want to hurt your little sister, do you?"

Caleb pouts, but settles for holding my hand. "Why she no wook wike me?"

"Because you look like daddy and she looks like me." Jeanine smiles.

-0-

Jeanine cradles me in her arms as she rocks me and sings a lullaby. As I start to drift off there's a resounding bang as the door is thrown open.

In the doorway stands Marcus Eaton and several council members. Jeanine stands up and puts me in the crib.

"What do you want, Marcus?" She hisses, standing protectively in front of my crib.

He smiles cruelly. "To do to you what you've done to us." He gestures to one of the others who comes forward with a limp baby, presumably dead.

Caleb.

"No!" It's more than a scream, there's something... broken... in her scream. "Not my babies. Take me instead." She cries.

"Jeanine!" Andrew runs to the room but one of the others hits him in the head knocking him out cold.

"One more chance, lady. Step aside, now."

"No!" Jeanine stands more firmly in front of the crib.

"You asked for it." He aims an injection gun at her and fires.

She falls to the ground eyes still watching but unable to move. An unspeakable horror in her eyes as another comes forward, pulling me out of the crib and shoots me.

Something's wrong, though. I'm still alive but unable to move. Jeanine thinks I'm dead.

"Come, our task is complete." Marcus takes me and Caleb while Jeanine and Dad are still unable to move.

-0-

"Where's my mama?!" Caleb screams at the top of his lungs as he wakes up.

Marcus sneers. "We can't have this. Andrew will be here in a few days. Caleb can't remind him."

Marcus' wife Evelyn looks sympathetically at Caleb. "I'm so sorry." She whispers to him. She puts a mask over his mouth and nose.

"Let's see if it worked." Marcus walks up to him. "What's your name?"

"My name?" Caleb tilts his head. "Do I have one?"

"Your name is Caleb and you're staying with us for a few days." Marcus says.

-0-

Slowly the world comes back into focus. As I look at Jeanine, I still see the devastated look on her face when she thought we were dead.

Something twists at my heart. To witness what you believed to be your daughter's death... it must have been horrible for her.

"I'm so sorry." The words spill from my mouth before I can stop them.

She tilts her head inquisitively. "So you do remember?"

"Not much." I say, feeling ashamed. "I remember the day I was born, I remember the day they took Caleb and I, and I remember them giving Caleb... well, I guess memory serum, when he asked about you."

Her eyes squeeze shut. "I wish you didn't remember the day they took you. I couldn't wish that on anyone."

"I'm glad I remember." I say. "It tells me a lot about what kind of mother you once were. You loved us enough that you were willing to die rather than let us be killed."

She looks down. "That's any mother, Tris. At least any decent one."

"I'm not comparing you to other mothers, though." I turn to her. "You are you. What I can't understand is why you seem willing to move mountains to make me see you a mother. It's... well... kind of disturbing."

A small grin tugs at her lips. "Someday, when you have children, you'll understand. The moment I learned you and Caleb were mine, I became aware of an emptiness in my heart I had forced myself to forget about."

With those words I can see the truth. How devastated she was to lose Caleb and I, and then our father. The joy at finding us, but the devastating knowledge that any chance at a relationship might have been destroyed by the Abnegation.

And above all else, the woman before me wasn't the evil woman the Abnegation spoke of who killed Divergents and attacked the Abnegation. This was my mother, who had stood in front of me, willing to die to protect me.

My eyes glaze over as I remember Caleb before they took his memory. He had been attached to her, even though for 10 of the years he'd been close to her, he hadn't known she was our mother. "Mommy?" The word that should have been attached to her finally passes my lips.

She beams at me before pulling me into a hug. "Yes, sweetheart. I'm here, now."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.A/N: Since the last chapter took forever, I decided to post another one early.

A few days later, the day before logic simulations began, Four approached my brother and I. Now we all sat in the sim room.

"I'm sorry, your mother wanted me to take you through these. We'll be going through mine, understood?"

We nod.

-0-0-0-0-

The first one, we were on a bridge high above the ground.

"The trick to this is that you will both be aware that you are in a sim. You are not supposed to be able to and it's in your best interest that you don't let on that you do. It's the main sign they search for to find Divergents." Four tells us.

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Caleb asks.

"Find the logical inconsistency." Four says. "For example, in this, there's no way this bridge could hold our weight. It has no support."

I look and indeed, he is correct. Next we are shoved in the sides by a box. Four points out that there's no way the two sides could move in the way they do.

The next one shows Four's friends and a gun on table. A voice tells him he has to shoot one of them or die. "But you see, if you look closely, they don't look identical to my friends."

The gray walls of an Abnegation home surround us. "Why are we in Abnegation?"

Four turns to me. "These sims are based on your worst fears. The belief is that if you can think logically under duress then you can always think logically. They go in order of least fear to worst fear."

Marcus walks down the stairs.

"Marcus had a son." I say. "What was his name?"

"Tobias." One of the now multiplying Marcus' says.

Four's... Tobias'... breathing heavily and his eyes were wide in fear. "No! It's not real. People don't multiply, Four." I tell him, trying to calm him down.

-0-0-0-0-

"Tris." Four calls the next day.

I stand up, shaking a bit.

"Be smart, Tris."

I'm in a glass box. My friends and my parents and Caleb are all standing, watching and laughing. I pound on the glass and just then it starts to fill with water.

I hit and kick at the glass and the water eventually fills it to the top. I take a deep breath and go underwater.

Looking at my reflection, it says, "This isn't real."

I'm sorely tempted to break the glass, but looking out at my simulation mother, I remember Four's words.

Right, logical inconsistency. What's wrong with this sim? I look around and notice the tube depositing water into the tank isn't connected to anything and the sim ends.

"Good job, Tris." Four says, pulling the wire off my temple. "You did exceptionally well."

"Thank you." I say, relieved.

-0-0-0-0-

Caleb's POV

I sit up in bed, a bit shaken.

The first thing I notice is the walls. Instead of the bright blue walls lined with bookshelves I've gotten used to in the past couple weeks, they are a dull grey with nothing but a bare desk.

I frown. Getting out of bed I notice I'm dressed in Abnegation nightclothes. At that moment Dad walks to the doorway. "Come on, Caleb. We're going to be late."

I notice he too is wearing Abnegation attire. "What are you wearing? Why are we in Abnegation?"

Dad frowns at me. "I'm wearing what I always wear, Caleb. And of course we're in Abnegation. Where else would we be?"

"Um, Erudite?" I say in confusion.

"That's not funny, Caleb." He says in annoyance.

"I'm being serious." I say indignantly.

His eyes narrow. "Yes, I can see that. I thought you got past that phase, Caleb. Pity, you're two years away from your choosing ceremony. Until then, you _will_ act like a good Abnegation dependent, are we clear?"

"I already chose, though!" I just want to scream. "I'm an Erudite. And so are you and mom."

He scowls. "Caleb, this is getting really old, really fast. I am _not_ an Erudite. I have never _been_ an Erudite. And I most certainly will never _be_ an Erudite. And neither is your mother. Speaking of, we are still going to be late. Now hurry up."

I grudgingly get out of bed. Is it possible that I just dreamed it up? If so... I shudder at the thought of after all these years, my father finding out the truth.

A quick look around reveals that this indeed seems to be my Abnegation bedroom. Complete with a few dozen hidden books scattered throughout the room.

As we arrive at the factionless sector, I frown, watching Tris hand out food. Something wasn't right. She never looked so... natural acting selfless. She always looked like she was forced to do it.

I sit up and take several refreshing breaths. A quick glance around and I realize it had been a sim. I just put my head in my hands and just cry. The relief is so overwhelming.

Four places a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Do I look alright to you?" I glare at him.

"It was just a sim. Relax. Take the day off. I think you need it." He tells me, ushering me out the door.

-0-0-0-0-

When I get to my room, Tris is already sitting on the couch. "Tris?"

She looks up at me and instantly I see concern. "Are you okay, Caleb? You look horrible."

"Yeah, I'm sure I do." I sink into the chair. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. The sim wasn't that bad for me." She looked me over. "By the looks of it, the same can't be said for you."

I shrug. "It's nothing I'm not used to. I used to live that reality every once in a while, when my dreams became a little too exuberant."

"What'd you see?"

I look down at the carpet. "I woke up back in our Abnegation home. All of this had been a dream and I told dad in the sim about what has happened since we transferred. He... wasn't too happy."

"That sounds horrible." She says. "You had dreams back in Abnegation of being in Erudite?"

"Yeah, none of them were quite so... elaborate, obviously, but I did have dreams. Usually I'd choose Erudite and on visiting day, mom... Natalie and dad would come and still be accepting of me." I say.

And how I'd always watched the Erudite, more discreetly than Tris had watched the Dauntless, and dreamed of a life where I could laugh and play and have friends, read whenever I wanted.

A small part of me had wanted Dad to catch me. To tell me that it was okay. But the bigger part of me knew that was unrealistic. That nothing good would come of Dad finding out prematurely.

And there was still a small, but deep part of me that couldn't let go of the fear that I'd wake up and it all still be a dream. Because if I let myself believe, then it would be too devastating to wake up. The life I had now was everything I'd ever dreamed of and more.

I shake myself out of my thoughts. "What was yours, Tris?"

"Drowning in front of everyone." She shrugs. "It wasn't pleasant but... goodness Caleb. And you still have to go through that sim at least one more time in the final."

I groan. "Don't remind me. And we still have our IQ tests to worry about, too."

Tris seems to get the hint that I don't want to talk about my sim anymore. "Did M...Mom never tested yours?"

I wince. "Why do you still struggle so much with calling her Mom? And no, she didn't."

She looks at me strangely. "The person who I think of as Mom is still Natalie. She raised us, Caleb."

I scowl. "Only because she was in on us being kidnapped. Mom would never have willingly given us away."

"She thought she was protecting me, Caleb." She says softly. "How can I think badly of her for it when she thought she was saving my life?"

"Yes but the fact still remains that she took us from our mother who loved us." I say indignantly. "Natalie isn't stupid. She would have known we were likely Erudite and brought us into an Abnegation family."

"You resent her for your having to hide being Erudite, don't you?" She hisses accusingly. "No one forced you to be the 'perfect Abnegation,' Caleb."

"Define forced." I say. "No, I wasn't going to die if I didn't pretend, but every moment of every day from then until the choosing ceremony would have been hell, and you know it. Dad never would have let it go."

"That was still your choice, though!" She says indignantly.

"If you can call 'which is the lesser of the two evils' a choice."

-0-0-0-0-

Harrison's POV

Right as I turn the corner to go to my office, I bump into someone. I look up to see Natalie Prior. She looks so embarrassed.

I'm still straddling the fence on how I feel about what she did. On the one hand, she had hurt my two best friends terribly, but at the same time, she had been protecting Caleb and Tris.

I first met Caleb as a child in Faction History class. By that time, most of the world believed he was Abnegation, but I had seen the subtle Erudite tendencies he worked so hard to hide.

When I went to their house to determine why he was hiding it, Caleb managed to pull off the best bit of smooth-talking his way out of it I'd ever heard.

But I had seen in Natalie's eyes that she knew better somehow. And a part of me respected that. That she could see through the thick mask Caleb had worn like a pro for 10 years.

"I'm sorry." She speaks first and I'm startled out of my thoughts. "I didn't mean to bump into you. I'm Natalie. You look familiar, do I know you?"

I gather my thoughts. "Yes, we've met before. I'm Harrison. I came to your house to talk to you about Caleb."

"Oh!" She smiles. "Yes, I remember that. Andrew might not have believed you, but I knew that you were telling the truth."

I raise an eyebrow. "Caleb managed to blind most everyone to the truth, didn't he?"

"Yes." She smiles sadly, deep in thought. "I always felt terrible that he couldn't be himself. I never confronted him, though. I figured he would tell me if he wanted me to know. We were the only ones he didn't tell that knew, I think."

"Probably." I say, smiling. This woman clearly loved them as her own. "I think I only noticed because of how much like Jeanine he was. He might look like Andrew, but his personality is entirely Jeanine's."

She looks sad. "Yes."

"Hey, come on." I put a hand on her shoulder. "I don't fault you for what you did. You were trying to protect two innocent babies. I don't like that it tore apart my friends' family, but children come first above all else."

She blushes a little. Suddenly I'm reminded she's a young single woman my age. And she has a beautiful smile. Why am I thinking of this? "Thank you, Harrison." She says softly. "I should go. I don't want to hold you up."

At that point I remember I still have a ton of paperwork to do and silently curse myself. As she starts to leave I stop her. "Wait, uh... would you like to go eat out together sometime?"

She grins. "Are you asking me out?" I blush and she laughs. "Yes, I'd love to go out sometime."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers, you've really made me love writing this. To anyone who enjoys this story, there is a poll on my profile on what gender(s) Jeanine's child(ren) will be. Jeannine Matweus, you've really been the driving force behind my inspiration and I thank you. I must ask, though, what does blueberry hugs mean?

-0-0-0-0-

The next day was the IQ results and the final day of sims. Then tomorrow we'll hand in our final assignments for our majors and have the final exam.

"It's strange isn't it?" Caleb said from beside me at breakfast. "Tomorrow, everything will be over. We'll be members of Erudite."

"Or factionless." I remind him, taking another bite of hamburger.

He rolls his eyes. "Tris, come on. You're not going to fail. And even if you did, Mom wouldn't kick you out."

I growl in annoyance. "I don't want to be accepted in just because our mother is our faction leader. I want to earn the right to be a member."

He just shakes his head. "Tris, you're in first place and you're far better than the rest of us at sims. The only possible way you could fail initiation would be to get too low of an IQ score."

"Which is a very real possibility." I point out. "You're lucky. We both know you have a high enough IQ and you're ranked second."

"I wouldn't call it lucky, knowing that I'll have to go through 'that' sim, tomorrow." He says, looking sick at the thought.

"But we'll be aware it's a sim." Cara points out. "They say that makes it better."

"I get the feeling that that will be useless in that sim." Caleb says. "You have to realize I hard wired myself to recognize any threat to my 'perfect Abnegation' mask. Especially anything to do with Erudite or books or curiosity or logic."

"That's just... Ugh." She says in annoyance. "That sounds like something any Erudite would only find in their worst nightmares."

"That was everyday life for me for 16 years." Caleb says, sounding tired. "Day after day, I'd wake up and have to live that every waking moment. And the dreams only made it worse. Dreams of a better life here in Erudite."

-0-0-0-0-

I hear cawing and looks around to see a meadow and above me crows, swooping down toward me.

I start to run, but my feet get stuck in mud. I turn my head just as the crows reach me. I try to shield my face and I scream, trying to fight of the birds with my other hand. A bird slams into me and I lose my balance.

I fall face first into mud, right next to a river. Looking at my reflection, it shakes its head, 'this isn't real,' my reflection tells me.

I roll over into the water and swim down so I'm several feet under. Ok, logical inconsistency. Thinking, I try breathing and realize I can.

I wake up to see a concerned Four. "What is it?"

"You came dangerously close to revealing yourself there, Tris." He tells me. "If anyone asks, just say you lost your breath."

-0-0-0-0-

Jeanine's POV

I'm finalizing the pre-final exam scores and IQ scores in my office when I hear a knock on the door. "Come in." I say.

Four walks in.

"Ah, Four. I trust all is well?" He knows I mean with Tris and Caleb.

"Caleb I don't think you need to worry about. If he is Divergent, it isn't very strong. He hasn't shown any signs of simulation awareness. Tris on the other hand..."

"What happened." I ask, standing up. Suddenly I fear for my daughter's safety.

"Nothing blatant enough to worry." He tells me. "But it is obvious that she's Divergent, and a strong one at that."

I shudder at that. I guess Tris inherited more than just my appearance. "Will she be safe?"

"She should be." He assures me. "I probably wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't informed me beforehand that she was Divergent. I must ask though, what are you going to do for the screening?"

"I already have that figured out." I smirk. "I set the system to identify them both as Erudite, regardless of their true aptitudes."

"That's brilliant." He says. "Uh, they are going to pass initiation, right? I overheard them at breakfast this morning. Tris was adamant that she wanted to either pass on her own or be factionless."

At that I'm torn. If I were to falsify her results, she most likely wouldn't forgive me, but at the same time, I couldn't let her be factionless. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that. It probably wouldn't. Going by the averages, she would have to take more than 20 minutes per sim on average to fail."

"And Caleb?" Four asks.

"Is more than safe, even without my intervention." I say. I feel so proud of them. Even though I don't really have a right to.

"Their IQs are high enough, then?" He smiles in relief.

"Oh yes." I say. "I'm not really surprised, though. I'm their mother and Andrew is far from stupid."

-0-0-0-0-

Tris' POV

"Attention, initiates."

We all look up to see Jeanine on the balcony.

"Tomorrow is your final exam at the end of the day tomorrow, you will be informed of whether or not you passed initiation. At that point you will go through a final screening. At least one of your aptitude results has to be Erudite to pass. Here are your IQs and the average time in minutes you have to complete each sim tomorrow."

I take a deep breath and look at the board. My eyes widen when I see my name at the top IQ-187, average time per sim required- 20 minutes. Caleb was in second with IQ-162, average time per sim required- 15 minutes.

Then Cara with IQ-144, average time per sim required- 17 minutes. Next were Vincent then Victoria who had IQ-141, average time per sim required- 15 minutes and IQ-129, average time per sim required- 12 minutes respectively.

I almost laugh in relief Caleb and I and our friends were almost guaranteed to be safe.

"After final exams tomorrow, Erudite-born initiates will be free to go see their families. Between that time and the time the results are out, you will be treated as a full member of Erudite. You may leave the compound if you wish."

-0-0-0-0-

The next day- Andrew's POV

"Attention, all initiates report for final testing. All initiates report for final testing."

After Jeanine makes the announcement, she comes to stand beside me. "You okay?" I ask her.

She smiles at me. "Yeah, I'm fine, Andrew. Just a little anxious."

A minute or so later, a nervous Amity-born girl comes in and sits in the chair. In the end, she had 13 fears and managed to get a passing score.

"One final thing." Jeanine pulls out her aptitude detector. It whirls for a moment before declaring, "Erudite."

It went on like that for a few hours, only a handful of initiates not getting a high enough score or not having an Erudite aptitude.

It wasn't until we got to Cara that anything unusual happened. When Jeanine used the detector it whirled for a moment. "Divergent, 40%. Erudite and Amity."

I tense, prepared to protect Cara, but it proved unnecessary as Jeanine merely waved her off. She looks back up at me. "What?"

I look hesitantly back at where she just left. "You're not going to do anything to her, are you?"

"What?! Andrew!" She says indignantly. "Of course I'm not going to hurt her."

"I just had to be sure." I say, pulling her to me.

Next were Tris and then Caleb. Neither Jeanine nor I were allowed to be involved in their finals except to watch them.

Tris' first fear turned out to be crows, then drowning, then Four trying to force himself on her, then killing a family member, the last two were the worst though. The first was of being taken away by the Abnegation and then being abandoned by Jeanine.

I look at Jeanine to she looks stricken. I squeeze her hand comfortingly as Tris comes out of the sim. Tris looks at Jeanine terrified as Harrison approached her with the device. Whirling for a second, it stopped. "Erudite."

Tris looks at us in confusion. Jeanine just smiles at her. "Congratulations. We can talk after the exams are over."

Tris sends her a confused look as she's ushered out of the room.

Caleb comes in, look at the chair in terror. I walk over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

He looks up at me. "Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine."

Before I can say anything else, he sits in the chair and lets Harrison inject the serum. I frown as his eyes seem to try to memorize me as the serum takes effect.

Soon it becomes apparent why, though. His first four fears aren't that bad. Heights, needles, snakes and open spaces, but at the last one, I feel a wave of horror as I realize how many times he must have lived it. Waking up only to find his perfect dream world shattered.

A few minutes later he sits up, gasping. His eyes meet mine as the detector declared him an Erudite, and for a split second, I can see the unspeakable horror in his eyes. "Caleb..."

He looks away. "I... I can't. Not... Not right now." With that he leaves before I can say anything. I look at Jeanine who doesn't look very surprised. "You knew?"

She looks at me. "I'm not entirely surprised. He would often come here after such incidents to seek comfort."

"And you never told me?" I ask sadly.

"Told you what, exactly?" She asks. "Caleb came to me for a safe place to just be himself. Telling you about his dreams would have let you know the one secret he was terrified of. He was an Erudite and he had to be everything but all day every day."

I shudder at that. Abnegation had forced their beliefs on Caleb, but it had been me who had placed the final nail in the coffin. It had been me who had sent him running straight into the welcoming arms of the Erudite for protection.

"Hey, come on. There's no point in brooding over it." Jeanine says, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"It's just ironic and terrible that the people I considered my enemies were the ones that provided what was probably the only tiny sparks of happiness in my son's childhood." I tell her.

"He enjoyed making you happy." She points out. "It might not have been the most ideal situation, but he learned to find happiness in the small things in life. Such as making you proud of him for being the perfect Abnegation child you wanted."

"But it was all a lie!" I say in agony. "I would have rather a happy, healthy Erudite to be son than force him to live a lie."

"You say that now, but how would you have reacted had he told you the truth? Honestly?"

I frown and stare ahead blankly. Would I have accepted Caleb's choice had I known when he was still a dependent? Or would I have done exactly as he had feared? "I think I would have been angry, but I would have come to accept it in time."

She nods. "We all have our regrets, Andrew. If we ever have more children together, remember that."

I stare at her in surprise. "More children? You want more children, Jeanine?"

Her face turns pink. "Uh, well... I mean I... I never really got to raise my babies. I've always wanted to be a mother. I thought that chance died with my babies and your transfer. But now, we have a second chance. I mean, only if you want more, too. I'm okay if you don't..."

I hush her with a chaste kiss. "Silly woman. I love you. And I'm happy either way. If you want more children, then I'll be more than happy to raise more children with you."

She blushes. "Really?"

"Yes, really." I lift her chin so she's looking into my eyes. "You never got to raise either of our children and I'm so sorry for that. I know you would have been a wonderful mother. But uh... I must ask one thing."

She tenses. "What?"

"I want to be married to you first." I watch her relax a little. "It's annoying, but the Abnegation customs have rubbed off on me some."

"I'm fine with that, Andrew." She laughs. "Heck, why don't we just have it in a few days? Neither of us were ever fond of overly extravagant events. Just us, our children, a few close friends and the minister."

"That sounds good to..." I'm cut of by Harrison.

"Hey you two. Let's catch up on the wedding planning later, shall we? We're only halfway through the final exams."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

A/N: *blushes deeply* Aw, thanks Jeannine Matweus. I'm really not that great of a writer, but it's really nice to know that someone thinks I am. I'm just a Math nerd who writes fanfics in her spare time. And a big thanks to binkblank, too.

A/N 2: Binkblank, don't worry, we'll be seeing plenty of Jeanine/Tris mother/daughter relationship. I've been trying to keep characters, their personalities and rules from canon intact while throwing the rest of it away. Meaning there couldn't be much interaction between them. By the way, please vote in the poll if you'd like, for either a boy, a girl or twins, one of each.

-0-0-0-0-

Tris' POV

After the final exams were finished, all the initiates waited by the scoreboard.

"Initiates, I am pleased to announce that most of you have passed initiation. For those who have passed, congratulations. The job choosing will be tomorrow and it will go in order of initiation placement. Here are the results."

When I look up I'm relieved to see that Caleb and I and our friends all passed. Only two people failed. An Erudite born had received a dauntless result and an Amity girl hadn't gotten the required time. I'm concerned when I see the Cara was Divergent.

As I look up at her, I see her smile as she looks at me and Caleb. I had received first and Caleb was fourth. A part of me wonders if she had anything to do with our scores, but I also knew I'd done well throughout initiation.

Her eyes leave mine to look over the group of us. "To the two who didn't make it, you have until midnight to leave the compound on your own. Thank you."

I follow her until we're alone. "Mother?"

She turns around and looks at me in surprise. "Tris? You startled me. Shouldn't you be celebrating with your friends?"

"I'm not a big fan of celebrations." I shrug.

"Right." Jeanine looks deep in thought. "Congratulations, Tris."

"Thanks." I say softly, blushing.

As we talk we eventually reach her apartment. "Where's Dad?" I ask, not seeing him.

She looks at me strangely. "He's working, Tris. You didn't think he'd just stay at home always, did you?"

"Er..." I actually hadn't given it any thought. But she was right of course, my father had never been one to sit around and do nothing. "I never really thought about it. What does he do?"

"He's a doctor. He had always wanted to be one as a dependent." She looks a bit nervous. "I saw your sim. You know I would never do that, don't you? Abandon you?"

I swallow hard and nod. "I didn't even realize I was afraid of that until the sim. It's so stupid."

"But at the same time, natural. I didn't get a chance to raise you and you barely know me beyond the stories the Abnegation and Andrew told you. And I'm sure those didn't help, either."

I swallow and nod. I had seen a little of who she was as a mother, but we hadn't been allowed to interact much since we learned the truth. I've wondered several times how we will be able to gain any semblance of a mother/daughter relationship.

Her eyes light up. "I wanted to show you something." She ushers me to my old bedroom. "Andrew and I redid yours and Caleb's bedrooms."

When I look inside, I'm amazed at the beauty of it. Jeanine had obviously put a lot of thought into it. While it kept to the Erudite ways in being blue and the technology and bookcases, she had kept it toned down and less... cluttered looking.

I open the closet to find many clothes similar to some of my favorites. Silk mostly, long sleeved and high necked and hanging close to the floor.

"Do you like it?" I turn to see her watching me nervously.

I smile at her. "It's perfect. Thank you." Before I even realize what I'm doing, I hug her.

She started at the unexpected gesture, but eagerly returned the hug. "It was time. I've held onto the image of you and Caleb as babies for too long. You deserve a mother who has let go of what was lost and is ready to embrace the future."

I close my eyes and try to imagine myself as the little baby she'd loved and been willing to protect with her life.

"I want you to know, even though you'll have your own apartment tomorrow, you're always welcome here. On a more serious note, though... Andrew and I have been talking about having more children. Are you okay with that?"

My eyes widen. A long time ago, I had always wanted a little brother or sister. Mom... Natalie... had told me that they were content with just Caleb and I. "I always wanted a younger sibling."

"Good." She grins. "Good. I always wanted a big family. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it."

"Uh, well, that's kind of between you and Dad though, anyway, isn't it?" I frown at her.

"I don't want us to fight. Ever." She says stubbornly.

"We're going to fight from time to time. That's inevitable." I see her flinch and continue. "Any two people in any sort of relationship do. You think mo... Natalie and I didn't have our disagreements? We did. You just sleep it off and go back to normal the next day."

"But what if I do something you can't forgive?" She looks terrified.

"Look, it is possible." I tell her. "But it isn't going to be on small, normal things like wanting more children. Just don't kill anyone or have them killed or hurt anyone physically or using words and we should be fine. Or cheat on Dad or something." I add.

She blushes. "I would never cheat on Andrew. Heck, we were divorced for 16 years and I never even looked at another man in that way."

I nod. "Then we'll be fine. Yes, we will have our arguments, but we'll both get over it."

-0-0-0-0-

Andrew's POV

When I get back to our apartment, I'm surprised to find not only Jeanine, but Tris and Caleb as well. "Hey." I say, closing the door behind me.

"Andrew!" Jeanine smiles at me. She sits down dinner before hugging me.

"You're awful excited today." I observe.

She just smiles. "Tris and Caleb passed initiation, and Tris and I are starting to understand each other better. What reason do I have not to be happy?"

"Hm, true." I smile at her.

Once we sit down for supper, the topic moved on to the job choosing tomorrow.

"I want to be a teacher." Caleb says. "I want to continue helping transfers, just as I did when I was younger."

"You helped other transfers as a dependent?" I frown. "How?"

Caleb freezes and looks to Jeanine.

"Tell him, Caleb." She says calmly. "I would've told him eventually anyway."

Caleb looks nervously at me. "Do you remember the club I started?"

"Yes, of course." I say. "The DEACAT club, I believe you called yourselves."

"Do you know what the letters stand for?"

"Daniel, Edith, Abigail, you, Anna and Tobias. You were the original founders of the club." I say, completely confused.

"Hm." A slight smile twitches at his lips in remembrance. "That was the official front. Dauntless, Erudite, Amity, Candor, Abnegation Transfers was our off the record name. Though in private we used the name Factions Transfers for short."

I stare at him gobsmacked. "How'd you pull that off without getting caught?"

"Not easily." He admits. "We had one adult insider in every faction except for Candor. So that we could direct anyone in our factions that were suspicious to that person. Mom obviously for Erudite, Johanna Reyes for Amity, Natalie for Abnegation and Max for Dauntless."

I sink into a nearby chair and put my head in my hands. "Nat knew?"

"Uh, not much." Caleb says. "Just that we were trying to help other children and that if she wanted to keep them safe she'd have to make a viable excuse."

I groan at that. "That joke, the one about the club for transfers..."

"Some who spoke of it knew, others just kept the joke going." Caleb shrugs. "We certainly weren't going to stop it if people were going to make it a joke. It made it easier to hide since no one thought it was anything but a joke."

"Was it you who started it, or...?"

"Well, actually, the person who started it discovered our secret somehow. Thankfully no one believed her. After we found out her identity we offered her a place as the next leader after I left if she told everyone she'd been joking around."

"Is that wise?" I frown. "To let her be leader?"

"It was the best option we had. It was that or risk someone actually believing her." He sighs. "She's actually been doing a pretty decent job at keeping things together. I set it up so that when I left, everything would be set up well."

"That seems overly elaborate." I say.

"It had to be." He sighs. "It isn't some small club. We've got upwards of a thousand members of school age. If our secret was discovered... It would be a disaster. Each leader is to pick out a trustworthy next leader before their choosing. It can be from any faction and I made the rule it has to be from a different faction from your birth. I chose an Erudite."

"And this actually works?" I'm baffled as to how so many children from all factions, even opposing ones, can get along.

"Factions transfer is a safe haven for all of us. I founded it on the basis that no one should be forced to live a life they didn't belong in always. Every single member was hand picked by me. I'd watch a person for weeks on end. We bonded over the shared pain of living a lie."

"That's..." I just shake my head. What could I even say? A part of me was torn. It was painful to hear to what lengths Caleb had gone to protect not only himself, but the others. At the same time, it was amazing he had brought together so many people from all factions.

"It's what should have happened a long time ago and now exists." Caleb says.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Trilogy.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers and to KarolMarques for helping me out of a rather terrible case of writer's block and for the inspiration not only for the next few chapters, but for the story as a whole. Her story Human Weakness inspired my love for Jeandrew.

A few weeks had passed since initiation ended. Caleb and Tris had settled into their jobs and Jeanine and Andrew had gotten married.

-0-0-0-0-

Caleb's POV

I've been watching a young Abnegation girl in my class for the past couple weeks. Watching her boundless energy, I know she doesn't belong in Abnegation. She reminds me so much of Tris when she was young.

I finally call her after class. I can see her hesitation and mistrust.

Once everyone leaves, she looks questioningly at me. "Am I in trouble, Mr. Prior?"

I almost laugh at that. "No Rose. You aren't in trouble. I had a proposition for you."

"Ok?" She looks scared.

I quickly make sure no one is listening. "I've been watching you for a couple weeks. You don't belong in Abnegation, do you?"

She flinches. "I... I don't... I don't know what you're talking about sir."

"You want to be free like the Dauntless." I clarify. "Am I right?"

She shuffles her feet. "But I'm not. I'm Abnegation until I'm 16."

I feel a pang of sympathy hit me. "Have you ever heard of the rumor about the club for transfers?"

She laughs. "Of course, who hasn't heard that joke at least a few times?"

I look at her seriously.

Her eyes widen. "Are you saying there really is one, sir?"

I nod. "Yes, I founded it when I was about your age."

She looks shocked. "DEACAT? The one no one has figured out the requirements for?"

I grin. "Indeed. And as long as I have any say in it, they never will. It's a safe haven. You get to be who you really are while the person associated with us in Abnegation takes care of making a reasonable excuse for you. So what do you say?"

She looks guarded. "What are the rules?"

"There are only a couple." I tell her. "No one outside of factions transfer can be told of our club's purpose and no fighting with anyone in it."

"I'm in."

-0-0-0-0-

Jeanine's POV

I smile as Andrew walks me blindfolded somewhere. Normally I would never allow such a thing, but I trust him.

"Ok, you ready?" He asks, stopping us both. I nod as he takes off the blindfold.

I smile bigger as I see the Amity farms and apple orchards in front of us. "Amity?"

He grins. "I used to bring Caleb and Tris and Nat out here every summer, it's so peaceful. We haven't really had a proper date yet, either."

I laugh. "No, I suppose we haven't. I really should be working though."

He laughs and shushes me. "No talk about work. It's just me and you and our day off."

As the day goes on, we snack on some fruit and laugh and talk. As evening falls, he brings out a wine bottle.

"To new beginnings." He smiles at me.

I stare at the cup he's holding out to me. "Andrew, I can't."

He frowns at me slightly. "Lighten up. It's ok to have a little."

I laugh as I snuggle against him. "It's not that. I'm fine with having a few sips occasionally. I... I'm pregnant."

A startled look crosses his face as I bring his hand to my abdomen. He grins. "That didn't take very long. How far along are you?"

"2 weeks." I'm sure I'm grinning like an idiot. "It's a little girl."

He laughs. "You were right then."

My face burns. "It's not... I just... I never got to be a part of Tris' childhood."

"Hey, relax." He pulls me into a hug. "There's nothing wrong with having a slight preference. I know you would love any child we had, boy or girl."

I relax against him and nod. "I'm scared." I murmur.

"Scared?" He sounds confused. "Why?"

"I don't want to lose my babies again." I can feel tears in my eyes. "I can't live through that again."

"They will never take our children again, Jeanine." He says seriously. "I won't let them. Caleb and Tris chose Erudite as their faction. There's nothing the Abnegation or anyone else can do about it. They're grown adults who make their own choices."

"And our baby?"

"I _will_ protect you both." He says. "No matter what. And if we really need to, you can always ask the bureau for help. You're... what'd you say they call it... pure? Surely they wouldn't deny you assistance."

I stiffen at that. "I never even thought of that. I don't like the idea of asking for their help, but if it meant protecting our children, I'd be willing to put my preferences aside."

"Then relax." He laughs.

-0-0-0-0-

After supper with Tris and Caleb, I pull Tris aside. Caleb had been overjoyed at the thought of another sister, and while Tris had made a show of being happy, I could see something was bothering her. "I thought you were ok with this, Tris."

She looks at me startled. "I... I am. I just..." She shrugs and stares at her feet.

"What?" I ask her.

She bites her lip. "I don't want you to forget about me." She finally blurts out.

I almost laugh in relief. "Tris, why would you think I'd forget about you?"

She blushes. "Cause now you have everything you've wanted. My father and a child you'll get to raise."

I sigh in sadness. "That doesn't mean I love you any less."

"I just feel like we're so distant." She looks at me in pain. "I _want_ to see you as my mother. I want to feel toward you what I felt toward Natalie growing up. But I just _don't._ "

I grimace. "Every relationship is different. I'm not Natalie, so yes, we might grow closer, but the relationship you have with me will always be different simply because of that. We haven't had much time to grow close yet. I can understand why you don't see me as your mother yet."

"But that hurts you."

I duck my head in shame. "What do you want me to say? Yes, of course in my ideal world, you would already see me as your mom. But I know that these things take time. And I'm willing to wait as long as it takes."

"But you shouldn't _have_ to." She looks angry at herself.

"The Abnegation may have taken you from me," I say, "but I was the one who destroyed any relationship we may have had when you were a child."

"Mother..." She looks at me sadly.

"Don't." I say. "You know it's true. I've done so much wrong in my life. I don't _deserve_ my family back. But fate decided to give you back to me just the same."

She wrinkles her nose. "I'm not exactly a saint, either, Mother. We both have faults. Everyone does."

"You're right." I say softly before smiling gently. "You look so much like me when you do that."

"Do what?"

I laugh and touch her nose. "That face. Whenever I don't agree, sometimes I'll make that face, too."


	12. Update

Hello,

I apologize to everyone who has read this story. I intend to continue it soon.

My life has been hectic in the last year, between school and falling in love and planning to move across the world to be with him.

I'm trying to refresh on where the story was going, expect an update soon.


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